It's been a long day.

I guess I've been waiting to post. Waiting for the permission to post really. Emotional permission, for one, to write about the death of Flip. Emotional permission that, even today, almost 3 months after his death, I begin to regret giving myself as I write these lines. To be simple, Flip was run over by a car on the main street near my home. It happened in front of Jac & I. He followed us out. We were going to return a film a few blocks away. I saw the car and as soon as I did, even though it was far down the street I knew what could happen and it did. We watched him die, and to this day it's still hard for me to walk down the same street and I bawled at a party when I unexpectedly saw the woman who gave him to us.

Some weeks after his death, in part to help fill a deepening void caused by his death, in part because it was awful to come home to Jolie who has been home alone all day and had that deperate 'i need attention' look in her eyes, I decided to get another kitten. I finally found one, through the same woman that gave us Jolie. She had been abandoned in Lampedusa, an island in the south of Italy near Sicily. By contrast to Flip, she is all white -- but she shares in a lot of the personality traits that Flip had and has been a joy in the house and has helped us heal. Her name is Alaska. She prefers to be held tummy up, and she nurses on Jolie's arm when she wants to play the baby. She is still tiny, even though my now she's about 4 months old -- and Jac and I absolutely adore her and Jolie. We get along well, the four of us.

The other permission is to write about work, which I cannot, as the changes are still 'in sviluppo' but I expect to write about it after the second week of January.

Then there's me and Jac and home -- all of which is going well. There's talk of weddings and rings floating about -- nothing concrete. It's pretty to think about, but as much as it can be fun to imagine and plan --- fantasy talk makes me nervous, especially after concrete conversations tend toward negating all the fantasy. So for now we are good. We laugh more than ever now, we joke around -- something that seems really simply but just due to language barriers until recently was rarely possible. We're still working out our boundaries, we're still learning, there's a lot left to learn... but everything we believe we know leads the way for only optimism and that's something to be grateful for.

I'll write again soon .... something more specific and less of a summary but I suppose something typed out is better than silence and maybe it will give me the incentive I need to write more...

Puntina, Pallina, Musetta, Streghetta, Gattina, Carinissima: Jolie

So Jolie is the latest member of our little clan -- would you believe there is 4 of us?

Her and Flip, of course, do not get along at all. They don't seem to mind sharing a dish of food or a litter box but they can't seem to share the same cubic meter without going into a hissing frenzy. Suprisingly they manage to stay out of each others way, when they aren't pouncing on each other... so the days are quiet. Mostly.

But with us, me and Jac that is, she's an absolute sweetheart, coccolona, super cuddly and soft.

Here is an album to enjoy: http://www.new.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2137951&l=85ef4&id=16103479

Note that in the pictures in which Flip and Jolie seem to be peacefully laying together --- i've put them together while they slept. The second they realize where they are....


hssss.

Flip, Capriola, Micio, Sorcio, Cucciolo, Amorino...

Just some of the many names per day I call my cat, Flip. I thought an update might be merit worthy and so i'm giving one -- especially in highlight of some recent, exciting news. Which i'll get to. Just keep reading.

So Flip has adjusted quickly and well to his new home. Yeah, it HAS been only about a week and a half since he's been allowed out to 'wander' all by himself but he's proved a faithful cat and has always come home. After all the sweat and tears we went through putting netting up all along our garden only to watch Flip scale this netting in the matter of 2 seconds the first time we let him in the garden and turned our backs -- it became very obvious that our efforts were futile and that Flip had the upper hand. Cats can get out of anything. Perhaps not a steel enclosed case but I wouldn't bet on it -- and I think it'd be a bit inhumane to try it.

Comunque--ahem- it wasn't easy. I went chasing after him the first 10 times he got out and kept bringing him home until one day I said "basta" and let my little Flip run off on his own.

I would have never have made it had it not been for living on a Private Street.

So the verdict? Flip is happy with his indoor/outdoor cat life. Really happy. He comes home all cuddly and sweet and exhausted and only wanting to be coddled by us. He's calmer, he's sweeter --- he's healthy and fit.

He still spends most of his time in the house --- at first it wasn't that way but I guess after he had a taste of "Liberty" he chilled out a bit. He greets us at the door when we come home and ----- he's the cute part --- cries when we leave. And now that he can get out of the garden he follows us when we walk away, crying.

Because Jac and I often "walk" away instead of driving this has become a big problem. We don't want to walk him out of the street, onto the main road --- so we've taken to keeping our walks short and closing him up in the house while we are gone. The only other option is taking the scooter or the car (to make for a quick escape so he can't follow us) --- but often we're only walking to something a few minutes away so it's a waste of gas.

For now I find it really cute to have my little black kitty trailing us because he adores us and wants to be with us so much --- but it's going to technically become a problem if we hope to keep him away from the street. We've thought about getting him a lease so we can start taking him with us --- but I don't know --- you might say cat's aren't made for leashes but I tell you with my most serious face on that Flip is in many ways not like a cat at all --- and much more like a dog (in that he plays fetch, rolls over and other inexplicable feats that we never actually trained him to do....).

Ideas are welcome.

So here's the exciting new news. Now that we have the space, and a garden (and lots of love to give) --- we've decided to get our long awaited second cat! We're thinking that she (yes it will be a femminucia) and Flip could take care of each other during the day. Friday we'll make some calls and hopefully go pick one up. Rome has no shortage of "gattini" (little cats) --- so finding one in the local classifieds will be a cinch. A lot of the ads are for boxes of kittens that have been abandoned on sides of roads or similar --- which sadly happens a lot here.

Anyway --- it's like planning a second child! Jac and I actually sat down and had a serious talk about it the other day over a beer. We've actually been talking about it and waiting for the right moment since we got Flip --- and now feels like a good time .... so we're ready for the challenge.

And you may say --- why a challenge?

Well i'll ask you to do as our "cat manual" says and think about a 2 month old kitten like a 2 year old child. With claws. That can climb curtains.

Think about it....

La Miccia Corta

Living together is HARD.

I've told Jac that lately he's got a short fuse with me -- you know, a quick - to - anger attitude -- and basically that translates into "hai la miccia corta" which would be understood by an unknowing italian as "you have small genitalia".

They always take things so personally here.

I don't know. Jac is moody and I can't seem to do 100% of the things right in his eyes all the time --- but my saving hope is that at the moment we are not in an ideal situation... there are another 13 days left before we are allowed to move house so we've just got to find someway to survive the next two weeks without too much damage. It is looking to be difficult.

I just need him to humor me with a miccia a bit more LUNGA -- ya know?

Life goes on though. We neutered Flip this past weekend which has turned out to be a traumatic experience for Jac & I (sure we complain about how he claws at us and bites our feet... but we actually just really love him for the crazy cat he is) --- but we've been noting down to minute details any and all behavioral changes we believe have been brought about by the --- uh --- change. We want our Flip to be just as he was or would be...

But in the end we really did the right thing. We weighed the reasons for months before deciding. The new house has a garden that is really easy to escape from -- and we can't have him populating the neighborhood with little Flips, as cute as they would be -- Rome already has a HUGE stray cat problem -- and not enough homes to place them in--- best not to take part in producing more. Also because we want to get a little friend for Flip, a kitten --- which we hope to introduce a month or two after we move in to the new place. Cats don't like too much change all at once. And since it's going to be a female kitty we don't want any procreating going on there either.

And he'll be less likely to want to escape from us -- that's important.

So there it is.

Other things... i'm just tired and want things to stop HAPPENING for awhile so I can enjoy the summer. But with changes as work, which i'll elaborate on in a more appropriate moment -- seem to indicate that things are about to get crazier.

There's a whole summer ahead ....

Update on Flip

It's been a while since i've spoken of the cat.

And i'd like to let ya'll know he's gotten HUGE and beautiful. We've got him eating science diet "Hill's" which is super-de-duper fancy scientific cat foody stuff -- so his coat is super slick and shiny and black and his greenish-yellow eyes are big, piercing and curious.

He loves to surprise attack from behind doors as we enter rooms, has figured how to open up every damn door in the house and when we come home from a long day at work he likes to be picked up and cradled like a little baby while he purrs and arches his back.

He has a love for all things wires and has a little stuffed cat toy he ports around in his mouth wherever he goes and that he loves to play (gasp!) fetch with.

At night when we try to read he plants himself between us and our books and purrs until we cuddle him and stop reading. He bites our feet when they stick out from under the comfortors and when he's very sleepy he'll climb into the tiny space between Jac and I as we sleep and pass right out.

He's a lovely cat.

I can't wait to get another one :-)

Jac is kind of holding off on the idea but I shall have my way!

Moving In.

So I made that whole, lovely to-do post (leaving out minor to-do's like go to Rocca di Papa and find the hill that your car, if placed in neutral, will roll UP instead of down) but this weekend was unable to knock any off the list--- but it was a good weekend anyway.

Sunday we ended up driving out to a town in the Castelli Romani and having a birthday-lunch for Jac's nonnina (grandmother) with his whole family. Fresh air, lots of green, pan-views and high bridges. What a Roman weekend outing is made of.

After returning home for a cat-nap (literally - CAT nap -- Flip plopped herself belly-up into my arms and fell asleep and Jac and I ended up passing out ourselves for a few hours) Jac and I decided to go out on the town -- ended up at "Bafetto" a famous pizzeria in the centre, and over our 4 euro yummy, paper-thin margherita pizzas and two bottles of nastro azzuro national beer we starting talking about moving in together.

And as of last night I officially have his go to start looking (slowly) for an apartment :-). To share that is. With him.

Now, I've never lived with a man before (though i've come close)so this is a rather large leap-step... it also (sort of) solidifies that fact which I am really trying my best to avoid admitting or even thinking -- which is -- i'm here, in Rome, and -- i'm not going anywhere.

Home.

So driving up along Villa Borghese at about 10 p.m. last night, it's dark and it's green and the sky is blue-ing between the naked trunks of the cyprus trees and i'm sitting in the passenger seat of Jac's still new-smelling Ford Fiesta... and i'm not knowing exactly where he's driving me yet but given that it's Sunday and that it's the end of the weekend -- I get that he's driving towards home -- my home -- my 20 sq meter white walled room with my plants and my balcony and my old wood armoire, my empty room, my cat-less room, my jac-less room ... because we've been together since Friday night and that's what you do when you've been together since Friday night -- but I can't help myself and I ask "Dove andiamo?" (Where are we going). He repeats my question with a silly voice -- because it's a silly question -- I know -- and then tells me that Good Kids go to BED at this hour, they go home, they get under the covers -- but my covers haven't been slept in for a while and I think of the empty room and I say "Oh" and sit in silence for a minute or so before saying "Posso dormire con te stanotte?" (Can I sleep by you tonight?) And he responds with a quick sharp and joking "NO" but then asks if I really, really want to and with the voice of a 3 year old I mutter a vulnerable "Si"... and we make a quick turn and soon we are heading north, heading home, his home, our home, where Flip, our cat, is curled up on the couch waiting for us -- that familiar black Ikea couch and that TV I hate so much and the table where we eat together -- and his room, our bed, and sheets that have that wrinkly warm slept in look to them -- and there's Him and so it's even warmer than just that and I think how sad the night can be when he's not there and how unnatural it feels to think of heading somewhere else where he isn't and i'm glad I don't always have to go somewhere else and hopeful one day I won't ever have to go somewhere else ... it's possible that i've found home --- in that cat, in those sheets, on that couch and in that glass-topped table --- but most of all... in him.

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Resemblance? Hmmm.

Sick Days

Last night I went to Jac's -- he's got the measles -- apparently due to something having to do with an "autism scare" related to the vaccine which lasted for about a decade and so many were not vaccinated with MMR (Measels, Mumps and Rubella) and the booster. But me, I was vaccinated and boostered to boot within the first year of my life and so now can address my nursing duties worry-free.

I left him (Jac) there (home) this morning. He keeps changing color. When I left he has just changed from green to pinkish-blue. I didn't want to leave but i've got work and I don't think that "my boyfriend is sick" is going to get me a paid sick day. No matter how long my boss and boy have known each other (15 years).

But now Flip is taking care of him.

Flip is great -- but he's a scrawny little thing and he's probably not eating half of what he should at his age and i'm not sure what exactly to do about it. We're bringing him to the vet soon as Jac gets better. He's got most of the signs of a good healthy kitty except for the ultra-scrawnyness -- which, since Flip's mom is a bit scrawny herself -- I hope is just normal.

Introducing the Dolcissimo Flip!

So, he was playing with his catnip mouse and doing head over heel flips on the couch and I cooed at him then asked Jacopo what he thought of a name like "Flip". He smiled, we shook on it and the name was decided.

Minus the part when he peed a pool on Jacopo's duvet (12 euro dry cleaning bill), he's been so well behaved! He learned (mostly) everything after being shown once --- and doesn't cause a ruckus when we go out for a few hours. He's amicable with everyone willing to give him a lil' love and is full of energy.

And we're like a little family, and Jac and I joke about being Ma and Pa as we cheerfully share expenses and litter-box-poop-scooping duty.