Why I hate Public Transportation in Rome.

Maybe hate isn't a strong enough word. Loathe? No... Abhor, despise, detest, have a feeling of utter and complete disgust for...

This is how the topic came up. Sunday eve and Jac and I are sitting at home, basking in the woozy afterglow of a pasta con pesto dinner (a staple in our half-household) and talking about his sister's apartment, which is way the hell out on Via Valle Melaina. And the possibility is there that we might possibly take that apartment if his sister leaves towards the end of the year. Why is this a problem? Let me draw you a diagram.



Note the large space of no-mans land between civilization (Rome city center) and Valle Melaina (possible future apartment).

Do you get me?

And the only way to get to and from civilization from that house is by bus -- unless you have a car, or motorino -- which I do not. This, my good friend, equals H E L L.

Public buses in Rome are rarely, if ever, on time. Nor do they run as often as they are supposed to. Once, trying to get from work to a doctor's appointment -- waited 1 full hour for a bus that is supposed to run every 10 minutes. This is not only a problem due to the lateness -- but do you have any idea what a bus passing 50 minutes past the due time looks like? If you are lucky to make it on to the bus at all (which requires serious pushing, shoving, beating-the-shit-out-of others in order to manage to squeeze in) -- but once inside there is a very real chance you will die of suffocation. Or just being sqooshed to death. Let's not even talk about during the summer. I mean, I live in a country where combo anti-perspirant/deodorant is a rarity -- not to mention shaven armpits to begin with. Oh yes, and we tend to wear things for a couple of days before actually washing them. We're resourceful folk. But --- c'mon -- F***.

Then there are the old men. And not just old men -- but all men, including young boys -- those slimy, slimy men who take advantage of the over-crowded bus to slip their hands in places they absolutely should NOT go.

Now imagine yourself on this bus -- and imagine doing this every day.

And you see why I flipped out at the idea.

Consider Rome is a huge, major metropolitan city served by only TWO metro lines (cutely named A and B) which is pretty easy to navigate and very fast should you happen to need to go one of the few places the metro actually stops.

I get the point though-- we want to keep costs down. Sacrifices must be made. I'm down.

I've already started searching thru Portaportese for a 125cc scooter.

'cause honey, there just ain't no way you're gonna get me on a roman bus every day...