Not so yummy in my tummy.

I have the half-inkling to lay off apartment-hunt talk until we sign a contract -- otherwise i'll just be dragging you all down with me through the continuous sludge of delusion.

So today I want to talk about my complex relationship with food.

I don't have the best one. Not that i'm unhealthy -- there are just a lot of things that I cannot or do not eat. Let's make a list shall we?

Most fruits: Unless it's a berry, and not poisonous -- it's going to make my cheeks and mouth turn red, itchy and rashy. Then, if the fruit is strong enough -- it starts to make my throat close. Funnn.

Many nuts: see above. Though peanuts seem to have a much milder reaction. Especially when all mushed up into lovely peanut butter!

All meats, with many exceptions: I consider my self a no-red-meat-a-tarian --- but I do, at times, as my only red meat exception, eat thinly sliced prosciutto, and only if I get every itty bit of fat off it ---- not because I worry about gaining weight but because I don't like the squishy texture. Also I can't eat much of it --- I taste the iron (blood, meat) too much (my palate is extremely sensitive to that taste) and it starts to make me feel sick. Tiny quantities.

White meat is another story. Basically I won't eat white meat unless its perfectly boned and cleaned of any sort of vein, skin or other ligament that serves as a reminder of its once-alive status. If it gets chewy at all I spit it out. It also has to be the color white. I don't eat pork (except see prosciutto exception above)

For example, i'll eat a nicely grilled chicken breast thats been cleaned well and doesn't have any ick to it --- or boneless chicken wings from a quality place --- but you won't see me touch buffalo wings -- or any sort of leg. Let's not even get into internal organs.

I like mushrooms, but I won't touch the italian delicacy "porcini" mushrooms, because my boss told me that often they have worms in it -- which is true.

There is no vegetable other than that which I will not eat. With the exception of those filled with bugs/worms and other squirming, moving things.

As for fish -- same rule about the "ick" -- if its got bones in it, or skin on it -- or -- and this is a common one here in Italy -- EYES on it --- then I don't want to go near it.

But I will eat a freshly steamed lobster and crack it open myself. Something about the hideousness of it makes it almost seem fake and when you crack it open it's all pretty and white.

I'll eat mussels -- but only if they aren't large -- meaning big and swollen like orange tongues --- and same goes for clams. You can never give me oysters.

I'm working on my relationship with sushi. Some of it is too squishy for me. And i've just learned to appreciate thinly sliced smoked salmon. It helps that it is thinly sliced.

I will eat a fillet of fish as long as it's all pure white.

With my grains I have no problems.

I'm banging this all out in type because jac & I got into an argument about it the other day --- he expressed his opinion that he felt my pickyness was me being child-like and not being open to trying new things.

I believe that my many taste 'aversions' are simply a psychological fact of me. Many kinds of food disgust me, but not because i'm simply picky and don't care to try.
I've tried many of these foods and they make me sick to my tummy. I understand that is a psychosomatic reaction, but I also accept that it is not something I can change without a really good psychologist perhaps? Any way I can't change it on my own by just 'making an effort' as Jack touted I should do --- it's simply who I am. And I don't believe i'm a defected person for it. And I don't really believe there is anything abnormal about it. And I don't believe I should have to change it -- even though I understand at time it can be a frustration to Jac or others around me.

What do you guys think?