Jesu Cristo Almight Durnit C'mon!

Of all times to be hit with the wanderlust. It's 2:10AM and I cannot sleep because of an overwhelming, screaming, imminent need to pack my Jansport, run out the front door and stick my thumb out towards oncoming traffic on Washington ave. Where to? Anywhere. Anywhere but here.

Because I feel so stuck. And i'm forcing myself to remain untethered, to not expect tomorrow, to not begin what I cannot see through... and all for what? Departure day feels further and further away as keeps drifing like an oarless dingy on a fickle current. I want to leave on September first. I don't want to have a real plan. Issues? Money. I need to leave some money in a bank account here to cover my student loan payments while i'm away, and also regular credit card payments for the one credit card i've got left. I need a new laptop because mine is extinct. In other words, I need a job. But a job is time and commitments that I need to avoid making in order to leave on my own terms so part of me just says screw it, just go and may the good Lord be with you. What am I doing? Where am I going?

Other issues? Safety. Obvious reasons.

Why is this world so scary? I guess it's like the lake. Deep and dark but i've got to jump in. I trust in my ability to swim and that there is nothing lurking beneath the surface that will do me any harm. But it's just -- sometimes there is.

Just one month. So very much can happen. I just had to get that out... idiotic, insomniac ranting...